When you and your partner are living in the same quarters and both dealing with substance use disorder (SUD), the influence to continue using can be drastically reinforced by your partner’s habits. Your habits, in turn, can reinforce their desire to use. This can create a very difficult cycle to break. Working to restructure the dynamic between you as a couple may be necessary for you to achieve success in recovery and create a healthy environment for your relationship. Couples therapy can help the two of you learn how to do this.
For couples therapy to be most effective, both individuals need to take the information seriously and apply the skills they learned during each session. As you work together to overcome your addictions, in addition to building a healthy relationship, you are setting each other up for long-term support through the journey to sobriety.
Understand the Relationship
Going through couples therapy can be very beneficial, but sometimes it is beneficial in a challenging way. There are times that individuals attend couples therapy and find that they are not a good match for each other and cannot provide the support the other needs. Deciding whether to separate or continue your relationship may be one of the hardest choices couples therapy may prompt you and your partner to make.
You may find that you two have some issues to work through as a couple, but both you and your partner desire the relationship to succeed. In that case, couples therapy can help you make the changes and learn the skills that are necessary for your relationship to grow and be healthy. On the other hand, you may find that your relationship has high levels of co-dependency and is no longer benefiting either of you. This can be a hard realization, but it can promote positive change by encouraging you to step away from an unhealthy relationship if necessary.
Influence on One Another
As you may already know, the individuals who surround us have a large impact on our mindsets, behaviors, and overall well-being. Of all the people you engage with, your significant other likely has some of the greatest influence on you and your life. This influence is often subconscious and not intentional, but it naturally occurs after prolonged time with another individual.
Unless both partners are maintaining sobriety, the partner who uses will likely be a negative influence on the partner who is abstaining from use. Fortunately, the influence partners have on one another is not always harmful and can be beneficial. For example, the sober partner may positively influence the other’s motivation for sobriety and encourage them to seek treatment or overcome a relapse. An important aspect of couples therapy and overcoming addiction together is to support each other through the ups and downs.
Working together to manage sobriety and continuing to encourage each other can be a strong reinforcing factor in recovery success. As you work together to remain sober, you can benefit from your partner’s positive influence when you are struggling, and you can benefit from their times of struggle if you use them as motivation to be a positive influence on their recovery. More importantly, if your partner is recovering with you, you will have the love and care of an individual who understands exactly what you are going through. Peer support is extremely beneficial in recovery, and having your significant other by your side through the process can lead to great outcomes.
Regaining Trust
Working through couples therapy can provide both of you with the opportunity to regain trust in each other. Often, our actions throughout the cycle of addiction can negatively impact our relationships, causing the trust to be damaged or lost. As you work through recovery together and go through couples therapy, you will have many opportunities to trust one another and practice setting and to respect boundaries.
It is common to make mistakes during addiction. When working through recovery, you may experience many feelings of regret. If these feelings are toward actions you took within your relationship or things that specifically affected your significant other, you can work together to move past these mistakes and open your relationship to start on a clean slate.
Focus on Yourself
During the treatment, you will likely have some form of individualized therapy. This allows you time and space to process different issues without your significant other there. This can be a great opportunity to learn about things you can focus on improving yourself and further determine what you need for support from your partner. Additionally gathering together in couples therapy can allow you to discuss these findings and come up with a plan together that allows both of you to feel supported through recovery and through your relationship.
Overcoming an addiction together can have many benefits, but ultimately, your success comes down to you. You cannot rely on your partner to fix the problems that may have led to addiction in the first place. Each individual played a role in this occurring. It is important to take accountability for your part in the addiction. While many aspects of addiction are involuntary, taking accountability for the voluntary aspects and putting forth the effort to overcome an addiction takes individual motive to achieve.
Attending couples therapy can be very beneficial for addiction recovery, especially when both partners are working to overcome an addiction. Couples therapy can provide you with the opportunity to observe your relationship and determine if it is a healthy choice for each of you to move forward with the relationship. It can also open the opportunity to regain trust with one another, as there are often experiences that occur during addiction that cause conflict or damage trust. You both can influence each other toward success and work together to be your best selves. As you focus on your areas that need improvement, you can bring out the best in each other moving forward in the relationship. If you find that the relationship is not healthy for both individuals, you can develop the skills necessary to move forward. To learn more about couples therapy, contact Dream Recovery at (949) 732-1960.
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