Recovery is a journey that requires individual commitment and social support. Unfortunately, some of your relationships may have a consistently negative impact on your sobriety or mental health. In some cases, you may need to simply set healthy boundaries. However, some of the people you know may not honor your boundaries or your new sober life. In these cases, you may need to burn bridges.
Before deciding what to do about relationships in your new sober life, it’s essential to assess their impact on you and the willingness of the other person to support your new lifestyle.
The Effect of Relationships on Recovery
As you consider which bridges should be burned, consider the support that each relationship provides you. People who offer comfort, encouragement, love, and understanding should be valued more than those who tear you down. Relationships with the people in your life who are positively contributing to your sobriety and emotional well-being should likely be built rather than burned.
Conversely, relationships that have a negative influence on you may need to end. Letting them go may be painful. However, this change may be necessary for you to establish a healthy social and emotional environment in which you can thrive in the long term.
How to Recognize Harmful Relationships
It is easy to say what to do about relationships during recovery: Don’t allow toxic, harmful relationships to derail you from your goals. Instead, invest in the relationships that have a positive influence on your well-being.
However, to do this, you will need to be honest with yourself about the influence each relationship has on your life. Relationships that are toxic or harmful should be the first ones that you burn bridges with. However, how do you determine if a relationship is toxic or harmful?
#1. Discourages Your Recovery Commitments
One obvious sign is a lack of support for your sobriety. For example, relationships with people who continue to use substances around you, even when you have told them this makes you uncomfortable.
If they enable you to skip support group meetings or other recovery commitments you have made, that is another sign that they are hindering your sobriety.
#2. Consistently Undermines Your Mental Health
People can undermine your sobriety in more subtle ways too. If you consistently find yourself feeling drained or discouraged after spending time with a specific individual, they may be working against your self-esteem and motivation. In fact, engaging with in relationships may leave you with a negative self-image.
These interactions can impede progress during recovery and should be limited or avoided. Consider keeping a journal of your emotions after interactions with people to see if a particular relationship has a consistently detrimental effect on you.
How to Recognize Healthy Relationships
It is essential to consider not only your shared history with people and your current level of connection but also the potential future significance of the relationship. Relationships that offer growth and opportunities for personal development should be prioritized.
Additionally, relationships that boost self-worth, encourage you, and give you purpose can be immensely beneficial. These relationships may include people such as family members, friends, or support group members who understand your struggles. Having an understanding support system can keep you motivated throughout each day as you work toward reaching your objectives.
Rebuilding Damaged Relationships
Some of your relationships with supportive, encouraging people may have been damaged by your behavior while struggling with substance use disorder (SUD). However, that does not mean the relationship cannot be repaired.
Be Patient and Open
When considering rebuilding bridges you have burned in the past, consider whether the people in these relationships share your desire to rebuild trust and connection. If they do, they will show it with their actions. Of course, it may take time for them to trust you again.
Rebuilding bridges requires patience and dedication. The same can be said for building new relationships. Being open in relationships you want to build or rebuild allows for honest communication and deeper understanding. Honesty can create strong bonds of support that will aid in your recovery journey.
Trust People’s Actions, Not Their Words
It may take some time to assess the intentions of the other person. You may find that a person who said they would be supportive of your new sober habits is actually unsupportive. They may get easily frustrated with your commitments to your recovery.
In this case, it may be a bridge worth burning. However, you may simply need to set some boundaries. Patience is essential in understanding how to move forward with a relationship.
That said, people’s actions speak louder than their words. If someone always says they will be supportive but consistently behaves in unsupportive ways, you need to acknowledge the truth.
Prioritize Yourself
Another important aspect of rebuilding bridges is prioritizing yourself. Engaging in acts of self-care is a great way to accomplish this. This may involve practicing mindfulness, engaging in physical activity, or finding healthy coping mechanisms.
By looking after yourself, you are building the strength and resilience necessary to tackle recovery challenges head-on. This can allow you to meet others with similar priorities and create a supportive network of friends and family in the process.
Consider Your Future
When assessing your relationships, it is important to consider the full picture. While someone may frustrate you momentarily, that is not a reason to burn the bridge with them.
Visualize where you would like to be in your future. If the general characteristics of the individual support you and your goals surrounding that, they are likely worth keeping around. Again, this ties into patience, as it may take some time to truly assess this. Be patient and honest with yourself as you undertake this process. Remember that the goal is to give you a supportive environment in which you can thrive in your new sober lifestyle.
You get to decide which relationships to invest your time and emotions in. Make wise investments to build a strong support system for your recovery from substance use disorder (SUD). Using these techniques, you can determine which bridges you should burn and which bridges you should rebuild. Focus on relationships that provide you with love, support, and growth opportunities. Be open with those in your life and take care of yourself to build the strength and resilience you need. Your recovery journey is important, and with the right support, you can overcome any obstacle and reach your goals. To learn more about determining which bridges to burn and which to build, reach out to Dream Recovery at (657) 216-7218.
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