While dealing with aggressive behaviors, you may find that your home is one of the places this side displays itself, as this is where you most likely feel that you can let your emotions flow freely. While that can be a good thing, it also can bring out the worst of us. Whether you are a parent or a child, the inability to regulate emotions around your family can have a very negative effect on your home environment and your relationships with your family members.
If you notice that your aggression becomes worse around your family and other loved ones, it can be challenging to understand why. One of the first steps toward counteracting this natural behavior is understanding where the aggression arises from. Often, it is not from the actions of your loved ones, but from an outside source. Bringing outside stressors and taking your anger out on your family can have negative effects on their mental health as well as your own.
Be Aware of Your Aggression
There are many skills you can practice to prevent these aggressive behaviors from surfacing in your home environment. One of the first things to do to eliminate this behavior around your family is to recognize when your anger is building. Letting yourself slowly ease out of an issue instead of pushing it toward a level of anger or rage can help eliminate explosive outbursts. The following signs indicate you may be developing a higher level of aggression:
High levels of stress
When feeling higher than normal cortisol levels, the body tends to go into a fight-or-flight mode. This reaction can lead to explosive behavior. It is essential to recognize the initial feelings of stress to avoid them reaching this level.
Body language
Paying attention to your body language is critical when assessing your level of anger. Clenched jaws, clenched fists, raised voices, reddening of the face or ears, and rapid breathing are all signs your body shows when levels of aggression are rising.
Calm Down From Aggression
Once you have reached the point of feeling angry, it can be challenging to step back and calmly assess the situation. After consistently letting your anger out, you may find it quite the adjustment to alter your emotional reaction into retaining a sense of calmness. The following practices can help you alleviate the feeling of anger in your home and let your emotions out in a healthy manner.
Listen to music
Putting on a pair of headphones and listening to music can help you separate your mind from reality. It can give you the space you need to calm down without letting your anger harm anyone in your surroundings.
Exercise
Exercise is a fantastic outlet that reduces anger levels. When feeling high levels of aggression, people tend to gain a lot of energy through adrenalin. Putting that energy into exercise, such as lifting weights or going on a run, can help you calm your nerves. It is also a good source of anxiety reduction.
Meditate
It may be hard for some to revert to a meditative stage when their aggression levels are rising. However, in the early stages of anger brewing, meditation can help to bring you to a calm state immediately.
Focus on Communication
After experiencing a high level of aggression, reflecting on the events that made your aggression rise is beneficial in preventing it from happening in the future. Being aware of these triggers can help you manage your anger and identify if there is an issue that needs to be resolved. To communicate clearly with your family, you need to know what you are communicating about. It is okay to step back after a heated situation and conclude your thoughts before attempting to resolve to continue it.
Using the A-B-C-D method can help.
A: Activating Event
Determine which event activated your anger.
B: Beliefs of Others
Discuss as a group how each person feels about the event.
C: Emotional Consequences
Discuss what emotional effects your reaction had on other members of the family and share your feelings as well. This can help everyone understand each other’s viewpoints.
D: Dispute
Assess how everyone will move forward and agree after addressing it.
Improving your communication skills when discussing a situation with your family members is very important. A majority of anger onsets occur from a lack of communication. Allowing yourself to calm down and assess the situation that caused aggression or rage can help you clearly see the actual problem. You can bring this to your loved ones’ attention and communicate how their actions or a certain event made you feel. This establishes a sense of trust, a bond, and support between members of the family.
Dealing with aggressive behaviors and managing your anger around loved ones can be hurtful and challenging. We don’t often seek to hurt our family and loved ones. However, because we feel safe around them, we tend to let our guards down. This can allow our anger to flourish in our home environment and cause further destruction to our familial relationships. Focus on your body language and stress levels often to recognize the onset of aggression. Try listening to music, exercising, or meditating when you feel anger brewing beforehand. After engaging in aggressive behavior, it is important to communicate the event with members of your family involved. Paying attention to situations that cause your anger to rise and being aware of your mental state can help you avoid anger outbursts in the future. To learn more about how to manage aggressive behavior around your family, contact Dream Recovery at (949) 732-1960.